Do you ever just see the first sentence of a text message and just think “oh fuck no I do not have time for this shit”
All the time
i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless
How to bring your baby to the cinema:
how come it’s cool for snakes to spit venom and unhinge their jaw to swallow people whole, but when i do it, i’m the “antichrist” and i need an “exorcism”?
My dad is downstairs watching the harry potter series for the 1st time screaming and i go to check on him and he says ” YOU’VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME THEY DON’T KILL THE EVIL LITTLE BLONDE LESBIAN FROM THE SNAKE HOUSE BUT THEY KILL DOBBY? WHY DOBBY. THIS RUINED MY CHRISTMAS.”
little blonde lesbian from the snake house