buddhawassexy:

"he’s 24 months old" bitch your son is two

(via paintmethepictureoflife)

jackwhitevevo:

once i was babysitting my neighbor’s 6 year old and she asked me why i was so ugly and without thinking i said “i’m you from the future” and she cried for like 30 minutes

(Source: fullmetaljackit, via leenahxo)

officialnorthamerica:

I hate when my phone dies and I can’t get to a charger for like an hour. What happened while I was gone? Is Kate still married to William? How old is Blue Ivy? Who is the president Idk man my phone died

(Source: celsisus, via paintmethepictureoflife)

 
 

polyontherocks:

dggeoff:

dggeoff:

my family got me a vibrating toothbrush that i can most definitely use to masturbate and finally get off gdi but the only problem here is that it’s got mike wasowskis face on it and i don’t know if im ready for that level of commitment

i did it. i did it and i hate myself.

(via untouchable12)

 
 

mothbug:

real talk does anyone ever just take a moment to appreciate the flawless combination that is cheese and tomatoes

cheese and tomatoes

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cheese and tomatoes

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cheese and tomatoes

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c h e e s e  a n d  t o m a t o e s

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(via alishahuggins)